A Virginity Auction? Really?

When I first came across this, I had to laugh. OK..my first thought was a virginity auction?...you're kidding me right? Well, needless to say, the auction is real my friends.

A young lady by the name of Natalie Dylan from California came up with the idea. Hey, gotta give her credit for being unique!

So, want to know what it will set you back if you decide to bid?

Psssst..I'll give ya a hint...it's a bit more than you might think.....

Ready for this one?

$3.7 million dollars!!!!!!

Yeah...you heard me right...$3.7 million. Is this a great country or what? Where else can a 22 year old female auction off her virginity, get publicity and fame and make oodles of cash at the same time?

And who says capitalism is dead? Hmmmmm????

What I would like to know is this......What does the winner get? Is it a one time shot so to speak? Who will get the video rights?....Oh wait..maybe there won't be videos available. Hey..just a marketing thought.

My question to all of you is this, what kind of idiot would pay that kind of money? A corporation for the naming rights? A conglomerate who wants to offer stock?

Geez..and at times I sweat the cost of dinner and a movie.

Now think of where all this will lead. Will we suddenly have a wave of "Virginity Auctions?" Maybe we could have a new TV network..."The Virginity Auction Chanel?"

Do you think it will come to our local fairs?

Imagine what kind of turnout that could bring...... Ok Ladies and gentleman, up for your bidding pleasure, a very nice 22 year old brunette, yes indeed she has had all her shots and been certified as A-1 Prime Virgin material. We will open the bidding at $1,000! Do I hear $1,000??

And what happens if no one bids? Talk about a crushing blow to your self esteem!

Oh well, I'll keep my eyes on this one for you if I can. Its bound to be even more hilarious before its over!

The Trials And Tribulations Of A 140 Year Old Lobster

This one really cracks me up. I'm sure some of you have seen the recent hubbub about George, the 140 year old lobster that for the past 20 years has lived peacefully inside his own tank in a restaurant called City Crab & Seafood in New York City.

Well, I guess living peacefully wasn't good enough for the people at PETA. Geez, don't these people have lives?

I guess not.

They lobbied the establishment to release old George back into the ocean.

Evidently the ownership doesn't have the cajones (balls) to tell the fine people at PETA to take a hike and go bother someone else, as they are now planning a "Releasing" ceremony where good ole George will be put put back into the ocean.

Now lets think about this for a second, there's George, minding his own business without the worry of predators, getting 3 squares a day and pretty much having an easy time of it.

Now granted, he probably didn't have access to any female lobsters on a regular basis, but hey, still a decent tradeoff for a tranquil existence.

But Noooooooo...That isn't good enough for the PETA nuts. Poor George needs to be free!! He needs to among his own kind! Hmmm...the last time I looked, lobsters make a pretty tasty dish for a whole lot of critters in the ocean.

Maybe PETA should provide a ocean going bodygaurd? Sometimes their thinking just defies common sense.

Personally, I would have invited a handful of my best customers and had a different kind of "Releasing Party". Oh yeah, one where you could hear the refrains of ..."Hey!!...can you pass the butter this way?"

The Great Whopper Sacrifice Experiment

A Whopper Sacrifice? Don't you just love it? Whats next? Waterboarding Colonel Sanders for a bucket of chicken? In case you haven't heard, but I'm sure many of you have, especially you Facebook users. Burger King is offering a free whopper if you download an a Facebook application and then delete 10 of your friends!! Hmmm...kind of an interesting tradeoff don't you think?

I can picture people at 2 in the morning, hungry, sitting in front of the machine going...

Ok..Him...yup....maybe her because she was bitchy the last time we talked. Oh Boy, only eight more to go and I eat! And besides, are they really my friends, and would they buy me a Whopper?

What a test for our social networking craze. At times we all seem to be in a contest as to how many "friends" we can collect. Think about it for a second and maybe you will see how ridiculous it really is.

The fun part in all of this is that each sacrifice will show up in your Facebook activity feed. Imagine logging in and seeing.."John sacrificed Mary for a free Whopper"

This to me is absolutely hilarious.

Burger King must have a group of mad scientists hidden away in a basement somewhere to come up with these ideas. Truthfully, I would be curious to see the sales results from this Whopper Sacrifice campaign, wouldn't you?

All I want to know, is when will somebody come up with A Lobster Sacrifice?..hmmmmm..maybe I should write a few letters.

The Salmonella Symptoms You Need to Know!

Just in case you haven't heard, it seems as if we once again have an salmonella outbreak. So maybe it might be time to review the salmonella symptoms just in case you happen to encounter it. Yeah, I know, I can hear you now..Not Me! But I'm sure that is what over 388 people said in 42 states over the last 3 months.

So, a bit of review might help don't you think?

The majority of people who do become infected with salmonella won't start seeing any symptoms until 12-72 hours after they have ingested the bacteria. The most common salmonella symptoms will be diarrhea, fever and abdominal cramps. Now for even better news, if you get infected, the symptoms will most likely last anywhere from 4 to seven days. Sound like fun?

The only good news here is yes, you will recover and most likely won't need a trip to the local hospital Emergency Room.

So how do you prevent it? Simple..WASH YOUR HANDS and COOK YOUR FOOD!

Sorry, but isn't that what your Mama told you? Well..pay attention!

If you happen to get these salmonella symptoms, use some common sense, keep hydrated, if your fever is to high, use a good over the counter medicine then get yourself in bed and ride it out. Oh, hopefully you have loved ones around to make sure you are tended to.